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I hate the feeling that buying something will make me feel better about myself. I can’t take the feeling of rejection of jobs, and I can’t have that confidence with chicks till I get that money. What am I doing…. There is no way out of this. Everyone has add. I am no exception. I have truly blown the one chance I had. The first chance. The chance to get out of this rut and what did I do? Fuck up. I slid down the rope as fast as ever. Stop being so emo. Stop bein so fuckin introverted. Stop all the nonsense. I wanna move and start all again. I don’t want to tell anyone and see how many people notice. Not in any morbid sense, but for myself. How does delaware sound? I mean, who REALLY lives in delaware? No one I know… What is even there? That wouldn’t matter. Who knows what would change all of this. What real life experience do I REALLY have? This is all so terrible to think about